Today was one of those days. You do everything you can to keep the structure... keep the schedule, and then a wrench gets throw in the gears and everything comes to a screeching halt. I hate to complain because, well lets face it, Isaac and I live a charmed life. 99% of the time things go smoothly and our life makes "single-parenthood" seem so easy and carefree. But it isn't.
Today I had to drive my 20 mpg SUV in rush hour traffic 22 miles home to pick Isaac up from after-school care (which he had only been at for 30 minutes, but I had to pay the full amount) then drive another 22 miles back to work to finish out a long day. Paying $4.50/gallon for gas, you do the math... it was an expensive day. Oh and I still have to drive us back home later tonight.
Isaac is sitting on the floor in my office in a giant sweatshirt playing with my "office toys" because I wasn't prepared and didn't have a movie for him to watch or toys to play with.
Today would have been an awesome day to have a husband. I could have called him and said, "love of my life, my partner, my friend, I'm working late tonight can you go and pick up our amazing son from Kidz Club and bring him home, feed him, and tuck him in, oh and don't forget the goodnight kiss!" Okay let's be real I would have said, "Hey babe can you grab I today..."
But what sucks about today is that I didn't have the option to say either. I have a feeling there will be more days like this! So Lord if you feel so inclined, I would love a little partner in crime in all this, that's what I want for Christmas this year. Is it too early to ask?
15 comments:
You should of thought about that before adoption and all. It is hard enough being a parent but to be young and single and working it should of been thought of.Even being married and having a partner does not always work out becuase what about his job and hours he might work? Maybe for the summer you can find a young teenager to babysit him while you work.
I stumbled across your blog via RLC, and I just wanted to drop a line to say THANK YOU! - for writing about your adoption, your frustrations, your joys, and everything in between! Your story is such an encouragement to me! Thank you!
(also - regarding the early Christmas present, it never hurts to ask, right? ;)
Sheesh.... I would ignore anonymous! Plenty of two parent families couldn't handle what you are doing.... you are awesome!
And hey... when it is time, it will happen. I was a single parent with my oldest for 5 years. It is hard, it is tough, but I promise you someday you will look back and be thankful for the closeness you and Isaac have from all the time with just the two of you. I am so darned proud of who my daughter is today, and I know how much I can pat myself on the back for that... as I did so much of it alone in the beginning.
Someone is out there for you and your boy, and when the time is right, our family, and your love will grow. But for now, you are doing a great job... and you can claim all the credit for that amazing boy.
Ooops... that should read YOUR family, your love... not "our"...!
Ignore anonymous is right! You are a hero and an amazing person! Strong and loving. You have helped Isacc is so many ways already, without you, who knows. YOU ROCK! Hang in there.....your frog will come. Yourr one of those people that others want to be just like....so ROCK ON! :)))
i've been reading your blog for a while. and i agree that you should absolutely ignore the first anonymous.
and it's totally ok to ask for mister right to come along for christmas...or even 4th of July...or even June 12th!!:)
Hey ALL,
I'm IGNORING the 1st Anonymous, but I am going to keep the comment so that I remember how miserable some people can be!
Funny thing is by the end of the day Isaac and I had a great time together despite all the $ I had to shell out. $40 is so worth getting to spend a couple extra hours with your child even if it's at work!
Thanks all of your comments and "1st Anonymous" you should think before you speak or in this case type. I did think about it and I knew Isaac was more important than all the crap days we would have doing it on our own. But that doesn't mean we don't have them. I made the CHOICE to live this lifestyle, and sometimes I get frustrated, but there isn't a MOMENT that goes by that I don't Thank the Lord God Almighty for giving me the strength to do this what most could never dream of.
16 years of thought went into my adoption if that's not enough than I don't know what is!
Love,
Jocelyn & Isaac
How RUDE Anonymous 1! Jocelyn is amazing! How many people put the love of the Lord first and follow His lead to adopt a child in need.
Carey
another AoH mom
believe me, there are plenty of "crap days" when you do have a spouse. "crap days" are part of life.
how wonderful that isaac's "crap days" won't be experienced alone, but with the tender love of a mama.
It's so great checking in on you guys and seeing what an AMAZING job you are doing!!!
I imagine there are times that it would be very hard to be two parents in one but you are doing a smashing job of it!
May your Christmas wish come true and may it be all you dreamed of and more.
You know what the great thing about God is? When you are alone, lonely....He is there. You know what else? He knew what He called you to, and just how hard it would be. He knows the desires of our hearts. He also loves Isaac more than you! He knows that Isaac will benefit from a strong Dad in his life. Waiting is the hard part. Enjoying the blessing God will bring will make is so worth the wait. I can't wait to see how God brings someone into both of your lives!!
P.S. People that leave stupid comments on other people's blogs, then write anonymous irritate me to no end. Be an adult. Sign your name to your idiocy. :o)
Why is it always that cruel comments are left anonymously?
Hmmmmmmmmmmm.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
I say- we ALL have days when we wish things were better, but that doesn't mean we made a mistake in adopting our kids! Geesh!
And no, it is NOT to early to ask the Father for a Christmas present!
Delight yourself in Him and He WILL give you the desires of your heart!
Love,
Holly from Purpose Driven Family
I think anon was trying to be helpful but is too...ignorant (?) to know what to say or how to say it. I think they missed the point of your post. Don't sweat it - you've helped more people by being honest about your situation than you've offended people who are too inexperienced at life to realize it's not all unicorns and rainbows! I hate reading blogs that paint a perfect picture of every day life. It's not the truth. You speak/type the truth and that's why I keep coming back.
Just because you are following God's call on your life doesn't mean there won't be difficult days. Oh, that more of us let ourselves be moved to take in a fatherless child and give him/her a parent!! What a beautiful thing. Thanks for your honesty. :)
I meant my first sentence above to be encouraging, not sound as if I'm preaching at you! :) I admire you.
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